National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

In 2008, I met this guy while playing GMod. We shared interests and quickly became friends. We never added each other to our friends list but hopped on that server every day in hopes of seeing each other online. We played together for a while and then I met another guy and became friends with him. Incidentally, the two dudes knew each other and the three of us became a very close trio of buds. We played games all day, every day after school, on the weekends, etc. The three of us became very close.

The first guy.

He committed suicide today. It was confirmed by his real-life friends and his family.

He messaged my other friend and told him not to tell me.

He left this note to my friend and went completely offline.

"if shoie asks about me, tell him i'm sorry too

i would have liked to write to him like i am to you

to tell him something or anything but

i don't want to hurt him

it's easier to just vanish without saying anything

i hope you guys don't think less of me for that"

I don't know how to feel right now.

I'm pretty numb at the fact right now but, please, if you or anyone you know has or has had any serious thoughts about suicide..

There's always someone there for you.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

I'm sorry to hear that Shoiep, stay strong through this mate. Suicide is a rough thing since you have no idea what to feel like. There's so many mixed emotions which come out of suicide. The main ones I've seen from people in a situation like you (being close friends and all) is weather or not to be angry, be in confusion, disbelief, grief or just plain sadness. It is great that you came out and said it because people use suicide in a jokish way and it's the complete opposite. Suicide is very damn serious and no one should have to go through the pain of what leads to the suicide, the thoughts and the people who are affected by the outcome if it gets to that point. All the respect and hope for you in the future. Also hope for the people who were in this persons life either they met off gaming or they met in life or they're family. Again I'm sorry you had to go through this but stay strong through things like this my friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. That goes for everyone here.

Sorry to hear about your lose shoie. I've thought about it before when life was turning to shit, but you just gotta keep pushing guys. Dont let the bad decide your entire life

So sorry for your loss of a great friend.

Jesus, I was sitting on the street reading this, and this really brought a tear to my eye. You have my greatest condolences. I hope you manage to push through all of this, stay strong, and remember we are all here for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss Shoiep. Just keep your head up high and even though life might throw some curve balls at you and break you down, you gotta keep on getting up. We are all here for you man.

I'm very sorry for this, i can't imagine losing a close friend like that... hope you're doing okay @shoiep

I'm sorry for your loss shoiep, I can't say I've gone through this because I can't even imagine how you're feeling, but if you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me. We're all here for you pal, keep your head up and push through. Best of wishes to you bud

Stay strong mate